


Pain Wrought in Loving Endurance

by zuotian



Series: As We Homeward Tread [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Chronic Pain, Domestic, Fluff and Angst, Gai in a Wheelchair, M/M, Old Married Couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-01
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-10-20 14:56:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17624537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zuotian/pseuds/zuotian
Summary: Gai is having a bad day, and Kakashi must take it upon himself to soothe his aches and even deeper misgivings.





	Pain Wrought in Loving Endurance

**Author's Note:**

> loosely connected to my other fic, [Gracious Service to the Living](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17619356), which you can read if you want a better description of kakashi and gai's daily home life. i just cant get enough of them. they are my kryptonite. 
> 
> i was inspired to write this after seeing a tag called "gai without a wheelchair" - really? so now im trying to explore the concept as it should be. i tried treading lightly in terms of dealing with chronic pain, and hope nothing came off offensively. 
> 
> i will continue writing as i come up with more ideas for this au. i love naruto, but haven't written much for it, so ive got years worth of headcanons waiting. expect to see the big two team dinner referenced in my previous fic, and some narusasu alone time, along with another ship i am excited to bring into the fray - plus, eventually, smut, if that's what you're waiting for 
> 
> thanks for reading and please leave a comment!

Sakura and Naruto teased Kakashi about becoming a hermit since retirement. That wasn’t technically true, but he did spend a lot of time barricaded in his home. He deserved it, though, or so he thought. Decades of service capped by the most arduous position in the village warranted him some quiet alone time. 

 

If he wasn’t home he was usually with Gai, or headed toward him, such as this afternoon. The sun was obscured by a loose collection of gray clouds, slanting lukewarm light across Konoha’s streets. The Academy was letting out, and young soon-to-be genin walked past with their parents, calling out “Rokudaime!” as they spotted Kakashi. He waved amicably, thanking the gods the recent batches of students were more lighthearted and carefree than those only a generation before. 

 

The rebuilt Academy was a large sprawling complex, but still held similarities with its original counterpart; a testament to the Will of Fire’s rebirth. Kakashi had the layout memorized - not from his tenure as Hokage, but in escorting Gai home every day.

 

He walked down the halls, students flitting by, and reached Gai’s classroom. Sensing another presence, however, he paused behind the open door. 

 

Rock Lee’s voice canted low. “ - tired, Gai-sensei. I can substitute tomorrow, if you wish - “ 

 

“Nonsense,” Gai replied, at his normal loud volume. “Thank you for your concern, my wonderful student, but it is unfounded.” 

 

“You are in pain,” Rock Lee said. 

 

Kakashi’s shoulders fell at Gai’s response. “I am always in pain, Rock Lee.” 

 

Rock Lee sniffled. “ _ Sensei _ …” 

 

“No need for sorrow,” Gai told him. “It is manageable. You are dismissed.” 

 

“Very well, sensei,” Rock Lee sighed. Kakashi heard him shuffle papers.

 

“Wait,” Gai called. 

 

Rock Lee’s sandals snapped together as he stood at attention. “Yes, Gai-sensei!”  

 

“One-hundred laps around the village! You must carry on my dedication. Let it inspire your training!” 

 

“Certainly, Gai-sensei!” 

 

Rock Lee whisked out of the room. He froze at the sight of Kakashi, and opened his mouth in a surprised greeting. Kakashi put a finger to his mask - quiet. Rock Lee nodded, and walked away. 

 

“Rival,” Gai shouted from inside the classroom, “it is rude to listen in on the conversations between student and teacher.” 

 

“There’s no blocking you and Rock Lee out,” Kakashi replied, casually stepping past the threshold. The taijutsu classroom had less desks, allowing for demonstrations which included mats and fighting dummies at the front of the floor. Kakashi maneuvered past a mannequin embedded with kunai and rested his hip against Gai’s desk. He openly analyzed the man’s form. “How was your day?”

 

Gai’s jaw clenched. He looked away, busying himself with organizing student tests into drawers. “Why do you ask with such curiosity, today?”

 

“I ask every day.” 

 

“And you know the answer.” 

 

Kakashi shifted more weight onto the desk, fully sitting on it. He poked at a small potted plant, housed in a ceramic tortoise. “You’d be telling me about everyone’s glorious mental and physical conquest against the day’s lesson, by now.” 

 

“That is what happened,” Gai said, voice clipped. “You should assume my students perform spectacularly.” 

 

“I do,” Kakashi assured. He rested his hand over Gai’s, stilling the other man’s bustling. “I just like hearing about it. What’s wrong, Gai?”

 

Gai clenched Kakashi’s fingers, lowering his head. “I cannot lie to you, my dearest.” He admitted nothing more, only offering an implicit confirmation of what Kakashi already knew. 

 

Kakashi sniffed the air; even through the mask, he smelled clearly. “It’s the incoming rain, I think.” 

 

“As do I,” Gai agreed. He removed his hand from Kakashi’s, leaning back in his wheelchair. His face was harried, the customary cheerful expression abandoned in Kakashi’s presence. There was no pretense between them. 

 

“It was hard for you to get out of bed this morning,” Kakashi observed. 

 

Gai broke the somber atmosphere with a forced grin. He patted his knee. “My leg can guess the weather, it seems. I wonder if they will let me on Good Morning Konoha.” 

 

“For the sake of the village, I hope not.” Kakashi slid off the desk. He straightened the ceramic tortoise so its head faced the students. “Nobody needs to hear you shouting at the break of dawn.” 

 

Gai finished putting his things away, and swung a small bag filled with homework to grade over the back of his chair. He rolled out from behind his desk to join Kakashi. “You put it up with, Rival.”  

 

Kakashi patted his shoulder. “And I’m more insane for it.” 

 

They exited the school at a leisurely pace. Kakashi would often push Gai in a display of care, but Gai was far from helpless and sometimes just needed to do things himself; this was one of those times. His arm muscles undulated as he turned the wheels, but his heaving chest exposed the effort it took in doing so. Gai’s stamina remained high since his injury, but on poor days everything managed to catch up with him a bit quicker; his stubborn determination made up for it. 

 

Kakashi acknowledged none of this. Gai was too focused to speak much, so Kakashi filled the silence in a rare reversal of conversational habits. He recounted the latest raunchy book he’d picked up from the store in excruciating detail to make Gai laugh, and allowed Gai to harp on his debauched interests. Occasionally, more students from the Academy would cross their path. They regarded Kakashi with respect and awe, but showed Gai honest affection and devotion. 

 

The village proper devolved into a quieter subdistrict. The flat roads widened to gravel, weeds wildflowers upshooting between rocks. It was more difficult for Gai to navigate, but not impossible, and he carried on as if the terrain hadn’t changed, sweat collecting on his brow. Rows of unlit paper lanterns strung between the simple ranch homes, crinkling in the breeze as the clouds above them coalesced, growing comfortable for tonight’s rainfall. 

 

Finally, they approached their lot, caged by a short wooden fence. Kakashi unlatched the gate, pausing beside Gai. “Rival,” Gai murmured. “I wish to lie down, please.”

 

Kakashi stepped behind and steered him up the porch ramp, into their house. He took Gai to their room, stopped beside the bed, and sat on its edge as Gai breathed a deep sigh of relief. He propped his elbows on the armrests of his chair and held his face in his hands, recollecting his breath for a moment.

 

Patiently, Kakashi waited. When Gai lifted his head, he moved to the other side of the mattress. Gai lifted himself up with his arms, swinging around to sit against the headboard. He pulled his legs up after, groaning, and finally settled into the pillows with a soft grunt. 

 

Kakashi didn’t hate to see Gai this way, per say, because Gai was alive, against all odds. But it was difficult territory, as Gai was rarely irritated. 

 

“Do you need anything?” Kakashi quietly asked. 

 

Gai’s eyes were shut, his face twisted in pain. “Take that thing off.” 

 

Kakashi silently removed the boot from Gai’s bad leg, and rolled the fabric of his pants up. He was not wearing his jumpsuit today - it was more of a hassle to put on - and chose to dress in a simple pair of black slacks and blue t-shirt; half of his mood could probably be accredited to not wearing as much green as he preferred. 

 

His leg was mottled with restitched skin, muscles slowly atrophying with disuse. Kakashi ran his hands upward and began kneading Gai’s thigh. It wouldn’t help the pain, but reduced some of the tension. 

 

Once, Gai told Kakashi his leg constantly was constantly beset with pins and needles. It seized throughout the day. He had to extend it for long periods of time, but of course his busy schedule meant he only did so in the evening, or on days off. The discomfort never truly left. Gai ignored it the best he could. He liked to strap his ankles together, and spotted by Kakashi, would do hundreds of handstands to let the burning in his arms distract him. 

 

But even Konoha’s Green Beast had to eventually succumb to his body’s limits. It was just one of those days. Kakashi knew the moment he awoke that morning, and felt Gai stiff against him. He deferred to Gai on this issue, though, knowing that Gai would appeal for help when he needed it. 

 

He moved down and rotated Gai’s kneecap to looseness. The tendons were stretched permanently taut. Kakashi felt them jump under his hands, and Gai gasped as the pain traveled up his leg, through his back. Kakashi did not cease, dragging his thumbs down the sides of Gai’s knee in a brutal massage. The bone popped, and Kakashi continued downward. Gai’s once bulging calf was slimmer now, unyieldingly cramped. Kakashi smoothed the muscle as best he could, then lifted Gai’s foot into his lap and rubbed the heel and sole. 

 

“That will do, Kakashi,” Gai said. His head was slumped against the headboard, eyes half-lidded. 

 

Kakashi set his foot down, and crawled to his side. Gai surrendered to his hold, resting heavily against his chest. They laid like this for a few minutes.

 

“I’ll schedule another therapy appointment with Sakura,” Kakashi told him, adding, “at the hospital.” Generally she came to their home for the basics, but requested Gai’s presence at the hospital when it got bad, to thoroughly examine him. Gai wordlessly harrumphed against Kakashi’s shoulder. 

 

Outside, rain began pitter-pattering against the eaves extending over the frame of the house. Kakashi lifted his head, listening. 

 

“I should drag the plants out,” he said, and gently deposited Gai onto the mattress. “I’ll be right back.” 

 

Gai hummed acquiescence. “Return quickly.” 

 

Kakashi touched his hair. “Of course.” 

 

Gai had essentially turned their home into a greenhouse. Plants were everywhere. Kakashi removed the ones in the bedroom first, then all the others. They filled the front yard in long rows, from largest to smallest. Even the miniature sprouts, similar to the one in Gai’s classroom, were removed from their shelves to get a drink. 

 

Kakashi’s shoulders were dotted with raindrops once he got back inside. He made tea in the kitchen, and brought the tray to bed. 

 

“Drink,” he commanded, handing Gai a cup. 

 

Gai drank it all in one gulp, then laid back down. Kakashi tsked; usually, Gai was of the type to savor his tea. So Kakashi did it for him, taking small sips and watching the rain out the window. He finished his tea, put the tray on the floor, and observed Gai. 

 

Gai was not asleep, but his eyes were shut. He breathed harshly, hands gripped in the sheets. 

 

Kakashi unfolded his legs. “I’ll get your painkillers.” 

 

Gai scowled, opening his eyes. “ _ Kakashi _ .” 

 

“You need them.” 

 

“I do not like them,” Gai said, turning away. “You know that.” 

 

“Well, you aren’t going to get any rest at all without it. Please.” 

 

Gai exhaled, the tense profile of his jaw relaxing. Kakashi knew he wouldn’t put up much of a fight; not today. “Alright, then.” 

 

Kakashi went to the bathroom and retrieved a pill bottle from the medicine cabinet. It was a high dosage, prescribed by Sakura at one of their first appointments. “Just in case,” she’d said, and Gai had laughed. He refused to use them - “I have spent my entire life overcoming my body with my mind!” But one night the pain was so great he sobbed, trembling in Kakashi’s arms. Kakashi was terrified, and begged, then challenged; Gai could not deny his eternal rival a challenge. 

 

He returned with a bottle of water. Gai swallowed two pills, unhappily. 

 

Kakashi resumed his previous spot on the bed and spooned Gai to his chest. “Thank you,” he whispered. 

 

Gai looked up. “Do not patronize me.” 

 

“I’m not trying to,” Kakashi said, and held him tighter. “There’s nothing patronizing about this, Gai. It’s the least I could do.” 

 

“The least you can do is more than anything I am able to accomplish.” Gai pressed his forehead against Kakashi’s clavicle. Kakashi startled, feeling wet tears through his shirt. For all of Gai’s joyful sobbing, he never cried in sorrow unless at a breaking point. 

 

“Gai, look at me.” Kakashi framed his jaw with his hands, and pulled him back, struggling to make him understand. “I could never do what you’re doing now. You’ve won. This puts your points ahead of mine a thousand times over. I’ve lost, forever. Okay? Every day, you’re beating me, just by surviving.” 

 

Kakashi wiped his tears away. Gai sighed, relenting. “I am tired, Kakashi. I am tired of surviving. We should be enjoying life now, not only tolerating it.” 

 

“Don’t give me that bullshit,” Kakashi hissed. “I know that’s not what you think. What about the Academy, and your students? You’ve had a rough day - that doesn’t make every other day pointless. You are still the greatest shinobi I’ve ever met.” He turned Gai’s head, inspecting him. “Is this the Green Beast of Konoha? You don’t sound like it.” 

 

Gai pushed Kakashi’s hands off of him, eyes narrowed. “Are you insinuating weakness?” 

 

“No, stupid. For the first time in your life, you just can’t see your own strength.” 

 

Gai’s lips pursed. Kakashi shifted beside him, the bed creaking underneath. 

 

“What would you tell Rock Lee?” Kakashi asked. 

 

“This is no time for rhetorical - “ 

 

“But what would you tell him?” 

 

Gai paused for a long moment. “I would tell him a shinobi’s strength not only lies in his body, or combative ability, but in his endurance in the face of tribulation...and the cost of sacrifice for his country.” 

 

Kakashi grinned. “That’s good advice.” 

 

Gai glanced, the corner of his mouth twitching. “I am very wise.” 

 

“Maybe you should follow your own wise advice.” 

 

“Perhaps.” Gai turned onto his side, breath hitching as his leg repositioned. Facing Kakashi fully, he held the back of Kakashi’s neck, nudged his mask down, and pulled him close for a slow kiss. They separated, but Gai kept Kakashi in place, fingers tangled in his silver hair. “What would I do without you, Rival?” 

 

Kakashi scoffed. “You’d be just fine, Gai. Trust me.” He leaned forward and kissed Gai again. 

 

They continued unabashedly making out for awhile, until Gai got sloppy and his eyelids drooped. A side effect of the painkillers was they made him pass out pretty quickly. Gai grumbled in protest when Kakashi arranged him onto his back and covered him with blankets, but fell asleep shortly after. Kakashi stayed awake as long as he could, stroking Gai’s side as the rain fell at a soothing rhythm, until he too drifted off. 


End file.
